Misunderstood and mistaken.
You’ve probably been told that love is when you have somebody to take care of you when you’re old and frail. You’ve probably also been told that love is mostly sweet but it can be dangerous too at times. Hence you can’t completely submit yourself to anyone because no one will love you as you love yourself. That you’ve got to take precautions. But don’t these sound more like a political means to survival rather than love?
You’ve probably been told as well that unless it’s certified on paper and your finger’s got ring on it, your love isn’t real. Who cares if that ring comes from someone your parents forced you to pretend loving? Or from someone you settle with simply because the social constructs decided that your love is somehow unnatural and diabolical even if there are no apparent reasons for it to be so?
Before you know it, you might start succumbing to the whispers; start believing that you’re unloved because you don’t deserve love or that you missed your chance; that somewhere, sometime, somehow, you met your love but walked right past it. You were probably too doubtful, too shy, too proud, or just too dumb to have a clue of it. And as much as you wish time wasn’t linear so that you can go back and revisit the past, you just can’t. Regrets aren’t fun. So take your shots. So what? So what if it cost you some dozens heartbreaks and disappointments? You always recover.
Because believe me for I have traveled in time and discovered that no matter how much you despise your past and wish for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to be more than just a masterful science fiction work, having someone you love who loves you back in all the right ways can’t quite compare with all the wrongs that could’ve possibly gone down or the burned bridges or steep slippery steps.
Because I know from experience. I’m living what I’m describing. And if my chest explodes one day from its inability to contain the feelings I harbor, know that the explosion is worth all the screw-ups and do-overs.
And I’d do it again in my next lives. And again. And again. And again.
Hey, my love. Happy Valentine’s Day. Our first of a lifetime together.